It starts with a friend request on social media or a “wink" on a dating site and leads to flirtatious messages, declarations of love and promises of a future together. And all it takes to make this happily ever after happen is a little cash or a prepaid credit card.

These trademarks of a romance scam occur over and over again online, often with disastrous financial — and emotional — consequences for unwitting targets.

Read on for tips on how can avoid falling head over heels for a scammer.

Key takeaways:

  • Romance scams are one of the most common forms of fraud-related dollar loss.
  • In Canada, people lost more than $59 million to romance scams in 2022.
  • Scammers follow similar behaviour patterns, making it easy to spot red flags.
  • Refusing to share financial information online or send money to strangers can prevent you from falling victim to a romance scam.
  • If you've experienced a romance scam, report the crime to law enforcement, your financial institutions and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.

What is a romance scam?

A romance scam is a fraud scheme that takes place on social media or online dating platforms. Scammers create fake profiles with attractive photos and fake occupations and contact strangers with compliments. Before long, their feigning romantic interest leads to “relationships" and, soon after, requests for you to send cash, wire transfers, cryptocurrency, gift cards, prepaid credit cards or other forms of financial support.1

In 2021, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre received reports from 1,928 Canadians who lost more than $64 million to romance scams — up from $28.9 million in 2020.2 But only 5-10% of those who fell for romance scams report the crime and the financial losses are believed to be much higher because shame, fear and denial often lead victims to avoid reporting these crimes.3

Also called catfishing, romance scams were responsible for the second highest amount of fraud-related dollar loss in 2021 behind investment schemes.4 Senior citizens and those who have lost their spouse have the highest risk for these kinds of scams.

How to spot a romance scam

Scammers often follow similar patterns of behaviour. Some red flags to look out for:

  • They live in other cities or countries and list occupations in the military, international relief organizations or on oil rigs. In other words, jobs that prevent them from meeting in person.5
  • They blame their remote locations or dangerous circumstances for poor cell service or unreliable internet connections, which make them unable to talk on the phone or video chat.
  • They're quick to profess their love and desire to move the relationship to the next level and may even propose marriage.6
  • Their online dating or social media profiles are bare, with few interactions, limited posts and no friends or followers.
  • There are inconsistencies between their online profiles and posts and the information they share in calls or messages.
  • Their messages are poorly written and may even use the wrong name.7
  • After they profess their love, they request money for emergencies like medical bills or ask for cash for plane fare and travel visas to plan a visit or return “home," where the two of you can be together.8
  • They have excuses for not having their own cash, like having their wallet stolen or being locked out of their Canadian accounts while overseas. Their requests are often urgent, and they get angry if you refuse.9
  • They discourage you from sharing your “relationship" with friends and family as a means of isolating you from loved ones who may be suspicious of the relationship.10

How to avoid being scammed

There are also things you can do to make sure you're not easy target for romance scammers.

Limit the information you share online. Scammers will mine information from your profile and pretend to be from the same area or be an alumnus of a rival high school to develop a connection and gain your trust. Keep your personal details private online.11

Do some digging. Conduct a reverse image search of their profile photo to see if it's being used in other places with different names or details. Ask a lot of questions if there are inconsistencies in their stories or other red flags.12

Trust your instincts. It's flattering to receive flirty messages but rare to receive declarations of love or promises of forever after a few emails or instant messages. If a person or their promises seem too good to be true, trust that instinct.13

Keep your wallet closed. Never send money or gift cards, make wire transfers or share financial details like your Social Insurance Number, credit card or bank account numbers online, especially with someone you've never met.14

What to do if you've been scammed

If you suspect you may have become involved in a romance scam, it's important to take action right away. Stop all contact with the scammer and then:

  • Call your local police station and file a report with the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre through their online confidential reporting system or by calling 1-888-495-8501.
  • Report the incident to Scotiabank (and other financial institutions and credit card issuers where you may have compromised accounts) and immediately put a stop to any outstanding payments.
  • Report the profile to the online dating or social media platform or application where you initially connected with the scammer to have their account deactivated.

Bottom line

It can be distressing to be the victim of a romance scam and embarrassing to report it to the authorities and financial institutions but it's an essential step in moving forward — and trusting your heart to someone who deserves it.

Learn how to protect yourelf from scams today.